Ulquiorra & Sakura Schiffer
by Sakura Schiffer
Summary: These are just one-shots (or two-shots) of my friends & their anime crushes or pairings of Bleach characters like UlquiHime, GrimmHime, & other people...enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

It's hard to go back to being the you, you once were before something big happens to you. It's almost impossible to walk down the hallways of your high school without feeling like you hold the biggest secret in the world & it's just a matter of time before everyone knows.

Sakura…Sakura Schiffer. That is my name, not my maiden name. No my maiden name is Sakura Shang, but only my closes friends know that. Yes, I know what you're thinking: "did she just say she's in high school, but also say she's married?!"& the answer to that is complicated.

I am Sakura (Shang) Schiffer. I have violent blue bobbed-cut hair & sapphire blue eyes. I have pale skin & I am an average 5"5 & in the 10th grade. The special thing about my closes friends & I is that we are Shinigami. Yes, you heard me right, Shinigami, gods of death or Soul-Reapers, which ever you are comfortable with. I am the oldest out of my little circle of friends, I am 916 years old. Next in line is my twin sister Anaria (Shang) Uchiha, ageing at 916 as well, but I'm older by a minute. The thing about my twin is that she looks nothing like me. She has snow white hair with magenta eyes.

Third would be my closes guy friend Kazuhira Kohtoma (Kaz to friends), only has blonde hair & sky blue eyes. He towers over all his friends that are girls, standing at 6"1, & (obviously) has a secrete crush on his Taichou, & Sensei in the human world, Rukia Kuchiki.

Next would be my best girlfriend Hinata Uzumaki, who just turned 615. She has long blonde hair (slightly lighter than Kaz's) that she always wears in pigtails & bright emerald green eyes. She stands as the tallest of her friends that are girls, 5"6 ½.

But here is the confusing part of our little group, the three boys& one girl that enrolled in the soul academy less than two months ago.

First would be the lone girl of the four, Inaho Schiffer (weird huh?).Inaho is a red headed girl with baby blue eyes & a small heart shaped birthmark on her left cheek. She has deeply tanned skin (surprisingly I look like paper compared to her!) & only stands at 5"3

Next would be the smartest of the three boys, Sôsuke Aizen. A chocolate brown, shaggy haired boy with matching deep, warm brown eyes that are shielded by thick, black rimmed glasses. He always has a warm, gentle smile on his lips & warm tan skin, standing at a towering 6"1.

Next would be the most loud & disrespectful of the trio, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. This obnoxious, wannabe punk is quiet a good looking boy; sky blue tousled hair with matching blue eyes. A cocky, white smile is always coloring his lips & like Sosuke, he has warm tan skin as well, & stands at 6"1. I, myself, am still amazed that not a single soul has tried to claim him to be gay because of the green eyeliner underneath his eyes.

Finally comes the annoying of the three, Nnoritora Gilga. A long, black haired boy with small violent eyes, & a very creepy smile always glued to his face. (Not)Surprisingly, this boy is the most perverted out the trio. He is about 6'5 & always wears a jacket that reminds me of a spoon.

But I'm losing myself here; the confusing things about these four are that nobody-not even themselves-knows their age or birthdays. So, my friends & I all chose to create a birthday for each one of them, the day we first met them. I first met Sôsuke on May 29, Grimmjow on July 31, Nnoritora on April 24, & Inaho on

"Sakura-Onee…Sakura-Onee!"

"H-Hia!? Kaz-kun did it!" my eyes darted to the voice of my twin Anaria, standing right in front of me, waving her hand in my face. "Onee-Chan, you didn't hear a word I said did you?"

Hanging my head, I gently shook it to my twin, admitting my fault. "That has been happening a lot, you know…What's on your mind lately Onee-Chan?" My cheeks darkened as I hid my face behind my short hair, I couldn't tell her about my most private thoughts. Unconsciously my hand grasped the object that adorned my neck 24/7. The one object that stayed with me no matter what, from my lost human life in the 11th century, to here & now as a vice-captain Soul-Reaper of the 4th division.

"Oh, I understand…" A deep sigh left her mouth as she turned to slump away. Anaria knew I was thinking about my late husband, who almost died a year ago because of my stubbornness. When I thought of my late husband, Anaria thought of hers, whom she only knew of because of me. Anaria forbiddingly married a servant like me. I had married her servant, Sasuke Schiffer, & she married mine, Lelouch Uchiha. "Sakura-Chan!" Hinata's voice rang out through the hallway, causing almost all of the halls occupants to turn & stare at her as she came running up from behind me. "Hey Hinata-Chan…" before she had the chance to pounce on me I side stepped, causing her to crash to the floor. "Stupid blonde…see what happens when you fling yourself at anyone & everyone!" Grimmjow's scolding voice caused Hinata to jump right back up on her feet & suddenly fling herself at Grimmjow, causing him to fall to the cold marble floor with Hinata landing right on top of him. "You mean like this?"

"Grimm-Kitty…what happened to your cat-like reflexes?" Kaz's mocking words caused Grimmjow to pick Hinata up into his arms & fling her at Kaz with blinding speed, leaving Hinata no time to scream. Without a moment's hesitation Kaz plucked Hinata out of the air & gently set her down on her feet. "How's that for cat-like?" Grimmjow's face was twisted in a snarl as he quickly spun on his heels & headed to the cafeteria. "Okay, who pissed off Grimmjow-Kun this time?" From behind us came Narunosuke & Shiro's voice's, speaking the same question at the same time.

I might as well give you some details of what happened almost a year ago…

The great "Arrancars vs. Soul-Reapers" war had broken out all over again because instead of Orihime Inoue (now known as Kurosaki!) being kidnapped again, I was magically transported to Hueco Mundo &found that my late husband, Sasuke Schiffer (Known as Ulquiorra now) was an Arrancar, my natural enemy. I am the second fastest & strongest healer in my division, so I was really needed for the Soul-Society, so instead of calling me a traitor like they did to Orihime, they thought I was kidnapped & sent a small, strong party to rescue me.

The party consisted of Kaz Kohtoma, Hinata Uzumaki, Anaria Uchiha, Ichigo Kurosaki, Orihime Kurosaki, Renji Abarai, Chad, Uryu Ishida, Toshiro Hitsugaya, Rukia Kuchiki, & Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck shortly after they had arrived. They all fought with the Arrancars that came to challenge them while I had flashed stepped all over Hueco Mundo, searching for my Sasuke, whom had went to challenge my friends. I can still remember the sound of Kaz's sword slicing through him, the sickening sound of Kakashi sliding out of his body.

"You damn Shinigami…why do I always turn to dust by your hands? It seems not to matter if it's a substitute or not…either way…I die like this…"

His gold orbsleft Kaz's; instead piercing into Sakura's sapphires…his hand slowly rising up to her, as if reaching for his slipping life."Why do I not die like every other being?"

Sakura raised her hand towards his, her black nails almost touching his slender fingers. "Be-because, your my Sasuke Schiffer! No matter how much you claim that he is dead…you are him, & he is nothing like other beings!" her sapphires turn liquid, causing his slender body to blur, not realizing he was quickly disintegrating before her. "No…," her words were nothing but a chocked whisper when she felt nothing but dust in her closed hand. "NO! LELOUCH, REIN OVER LIGHT!" She tripped twice running towards the sphere of darkness that pulsed a purple tint, which now encircled Ulquiorra's half disintegrated body within it. "Sakura-Chan, no!" Kaz ran towards his best friend, trying to stop her from reaching the sphere that held her elided kidnapper, but he bounced off of its black walls that had swallowed her. "Damn it all!" His fist came down hard on the walls, fearing his friend would not come out again.

Sakura came to a hard stop when her body came crashing into an out of place white wall. "S-Sasuke-Kun?" his single arm wrapped around her shaking waist, keeping her against his torso, which slowly began to rebuild itself. "Sakura-Chan…how can this be?"

"I became the vice-captain of the healing division for a reason Sasuke-Kun…I thought you said you do your homework." Her voice held a light teasing as she felt his other arm quickly regenerate, his fingers entwining into hers. Her eyes lifted up towards his, faintly seeing the cold gold orbs, now turning a warm emerald. She gasped as she watched the black tear streaks that stroked his cheeks turn emerald, then slowly fade away, leaving his cheeks just a pale white. Her hands reached up to caress his face, her thumbs running lines up & down his cheeks, but froze when she saw the two bone white horns at the top of his head crumble away. "What is bothering you Aisai?" His eyes searched hers when he felt her hands flutter up to his raven black hair, tousling it in search for any bone left. Her hands froze again when a new light entered the darkness, the charm from her chocker pulsing emerald again. "S-Sasuke-Kun…are you okay? You're still regenerating, right?" her hand went down to her chocker, grasping "his" heart. "S-Sakura-Chan…!" Her eyes flashed to his, his emeralds wide & burning. "T-there is this pain, its coming from the hole…" Her eyes flashed down to his collar bone, where his Arrancar hole rested. Her eyes became wider than his as she watched her hands uncontrollably unclasped the pulsing charm adorning her throat& slowly placed it in the hole in his collar. Before she knew it the darkness from Lelouch flowed through her slender fingers, encircling the charm & hollow space in his throat. "I-I know what must happen now, Sasuke-Kun…" Her sapphires bore into his emeralds, her mind was made up. "I'm…going to heal you Daaringu…but you won't be the same as before…you won't be Ulquiorra. Y-you'll be Sasuke again…my Sasuke-Kun…"

It's hard to believe that was almost two years ago…it feels like a life time.

"Sakura-Chan…Sakura-Chan!"

"What? Oh, um…sorry Sôsuke-Kun…I kind of zoned out there." I dropped my head as my cheeks darkened, trying to hide behind my violent short curtain. "What is on your mind Hime-Chan? I've noticed that you've been zoning out a lot lately…does it have anything to do with your Hazu?"

Sôsuke Aizen is a very observational character. If any one seems bothered or distracted, he will be the first one to notice. He seems to be the only boy you can open up to & he'll truly listen, & if your big chested like Hinata, Orihime, or I, he'll actually look at your eyes! "Hia…I've been having him pop into my mind a lot lately without even noticing."

"Well, he must have been a wonderful man if he keeps popping into your mind 24/7." Sôsuke swiftly rose & plucked mine & his books off of the table just as the bell rang for first period. "Well here's another good thing to think about, since you & I have a lot of the same classes this year, you won't have to carry your books most of the day."

"That's nice of you Sôsuke-Kun, but I can-" My sentence was cut short when I suddenly crashed into a tall, slender, warm wall. From the hardness I could tell the figure was male, but before I could look into his face, he had already brushed past me. I quickly turned around to call out an apology to him but my words caught in my throat. All I could see was his raven black hair that went to his shoulders& paper white skin peeking out at me from above his collar. "No….i must be imagining things…"

"What was that you said, Hime-Chan?" Sôsuke's warm brown eyes melted through his glasses, his smile dripping with concern. "N-nothing really…that guy just looked familiar is all. Let's hurry up & get to class before we are late."

"Sakura-Chan!" my eyes glanced up to find my twin sitting at a small circular table with Narunosuke Shang (Weird again)& Shiro, with 3 extra empty seats. Sôsuke glided over with a lot of grace for a supposed 17 year old awkward boy & claimed the seat next to Anaria.

After I had chosen the empty seat next to Shiro, class had begun for only a few minutes when there came a light tapping from the door, followed by the schools headmaster entering, dragging along a tall slender boy with a black & emerald stripped jacket on, the hood drawn over his head.

"Sorry for the disruption, but our newest arrival this year seemed to have gotten lost in our hallways."

"Oh no problem, just go take a seat over there in between Schiffer&Aizen-San, Mr.…um…do you mind telling me your name?"

Gently removing the hood from his head I could see his paper white, slender hands with black painted nails. "Schiffer…Ulquiorra Schiffer…"

"Oh, do you happen to be related to Sakura Schiffer-San?" My heart had been racing too fast for me to notice Sensei's last words; all I could concentrate on was his piercing emerald gaze. "No."

"Oh, well what about Inaho Schiffer-San? Are you related to her?" A flash of realization danced in his eyes at the mention of Inaho. "Hia, Sensei-San, I am indeed related to Inaho-Chan."

"Oh, that is wonderful. Now Schiffer-San, if you don't mind, would you please go sit next to Sakura-San, please?"

I'm not breathing! I need air, right now! Inhale Sakura, breath in & out evenly! My cheeks darkened when I heard Shiro whistle towards Ulquiorra while curling one of her black locks with kinky pink died in around her fore finger, making a flirty grin at him as he sat down in between Sôsuke & I, his knee brushing against mine, sending a shock down my spine. My sapphires met his emeralds fora quick second before mine quickly looked towards my lap again."So, Ulquiorra-Kun…are you dating anyone?"

"Shiro-Chan!" My cheeks were even darker as I tried to keep my shrill voice below a whisper. "What? It's not like I'm asking him anything personal…so, are you?" Her voice had return back to its flirty tone as her magenta eyes peeked out from under her coal black bangs, a rare thing if you're around Shiro a lot, & her snake bites wiggled with the slight movement of her lips.

"Yes, I am…satisfied? Can I now pay attention to Sensei, instead of having to take part of your useless gossip?"Shiro's eyes were drawn behind her bangs again as a flash of disappointment crossed her face for a brief second, then quickly disappeared when she reached over & punched Narunosuke for no reason at all.

"Sasuke…"

"What was that Sakura-Chan? Did you say something?" Narunosuke's deep voice broke through my conscious, hurtling me back into reality.

"Are you daydreamin' about…'you know who' again?" My eyes widen in horror as I looked around the small little table, my eyes resting last on Sasuke. "Crap, was I thinking out loud again?"

"Yep, you said Sasuke's name again in an all kinda dreamy way, like you always do!" Anaria was beaming along with her words when realization crossed her finally. "Onee-Chan! Is it-" before she finished her shrill whisper I jumped over both boys in between us & clamped my hand over her lips. "Now, now Imouto-Chan…let's not spoil Sôsuke-Kun's surprise!" confusion crossed everyone's eyes for a brief second before all my friends finally caught on. "Aw, but Hime-Chan, please? I'm so excited that I'll do anything, please?"Sôsuke played along so I wouldn't look like a total fool in front of Ulquiorra. "Nu, uh, Sôsuke-Kun, you'll have to wait for a few more weeks until your finally 18." I waggled my finger as the bell rang for next period, just a few more until lunch break, then I can go & drown in my misery like always.

"I'll see you guys later!"

"You're not going to eat lunch with us Sakura-Chan?" Kaz's voice filled with disappointment when I shook my head at him & waved.

The halls were empty as I drew near the library, everyone must have rushed to the cafeteria as soon as the bell rang. Contently I placed my ear buds into my ears & cranked my iPod up to high. With the rock music blaring I finally allowed myself willingly to think of my Hazu.

The year was 1111; I was a human in the world of the living at the time, a Hime. I was 15 at the time & rebellious & naïve of everything, thinking I knew everything in the world. I was just betrothed to some American prince whom I had never met; my parents had told me that our marriage would bring peace to our two families, please, save me the stereotypical crap. I had run away with Anaria & our servants that same night, eloping would be the proper way to describe it, I guess. I can still smell the cherry blossoms that were fully bloomed that night, the shades of pink that mixed with the liquid of night. I can just make out his warm emerald orbs that held mine, just like how his large hand swallowed mine, his skin feeling hot yet cold at the same time. I can still feel the touch of his lips on mine for the first time-

Before I knew it my body collided with a familiar tall, slender wall again. Reflex kicked in before I started to fall backwards, my arms swinging behind me to break my fall, but fell back to my sides when a slender but strong pair of arms wrapped around my small waist, crushing me against the wall. My eyes shot open to first glimpse the peach color of the school's uniform pressed against my cheek. My hand rested against the symbol that was stitched into the sweater, the chest that rested underneath the sweater was distinctly male, gently rising in & out. My sapphire eyes slowly followed the buttons that held the sweater closed up until they reached the neckline of the clothing, revealing the white dress shirt that lied underneath. My eyes froze for a while on the opening of the collar of the shirt, the skin that was revealed hinted of a scare in the shape of a circle right were the collar bone rested.

"S-Sasuke-Kun…?" My voice was barely above a whisper as my eyes glided up the paper white skin, hungrily memorizing every little line & scare that defaced his skin, making him even more beautiful, when I finally met his intense, emerald stare.

Before I had time to understand what was happening, he pulled me into the empty library, closing the doors behind us & taking me to the furthest corner of the large room. The air left my lungs when I felt a bookshelf slam into my back, his hands firm on my hips, his nose touching mine. "Aisai…it's been too long again."

Unconsciously, my hands traced his face, my thumbs tracing lines under his eyes where the emerald strokes used to run down. My finger traced his lips, first the single black painted upper lip (like my bottom lip)then beginning to run the padding of my fore finger over his full, pale bottom lip.

Suddenly, without warning, my vision blurred as my sapphires turned to liquid, causing him to mix in with the background. "Where…where have you been all this time, Daaringu? I-I've…been unable to live…without you." Yeah…this is such a mushy moment…but what do you expect when the man that you've loved all of your lives dies & then suddenly appears alive several hundreds of years later, & then almost dies again, just to suddenly reappear two years later? "I'm sorry Hime-Chan…I don't know what happened…I remember the blade, & your scream, & Lelouch-Kun suddenly appearing in my mind, next to Murciēlago…everything else up to this point is a blur." His emeralds turned liquid as his quickly turned his head away, his arms constricted around my waist, his hand dipping just a little lower."So…are you now my Sasuke-Kun…or are you Ulquiorra still?" my lips curved into a triumphant smile when his eyes met mine again, warmth seeping out of them onto my skin.

"Let me ask you this, Sakura-Chan…" his slender, black painted fingers gently rose & whipped a stray violent blue strand out of my eyes. "Have you kissed anyone in this life?"

His face came closer as he awaited my answer, his lips almost brushing mine.

My mind had difficulty thinking with the weight of his body against mine, but I tried, knowing he was waiting for an answer.  
"Does force count?" I remembered when I was in Hueco Mundo & Grimmjow had forced himself on me, crushing his lips on mine. The sad thing is if he wasn't such a jerk, I might have liked it!

"No, Aisai. It does not." His lips brushed the side of my lips, my heart quickening.

"Then besides you when you were an Arrancar…no, I have not."

A little growl of appreciation escaped his throat as he pressed closer, crushing me between his slender chest & the hard bookshelf, a place I loved more by the second."So then, it's right to say that I am your first & only kiss?"

A smile colored his voice as my breath caught in my throat, one second I was crushed between him & the self, next thing I know I'm on my back, underneath him & on top of a small little table.

Him emeralds were filled with mischief & a hint a promises. "Then is it right to say that I am your first & only love?" My cheeks colored as my eyes darted away from his. Where was he getting at with all these questions? When did my love for him become a pop quiz? Before I could voice my question thought, his fingers came under my chin, bringing my eyes back to his, all serious & dull again, but something was hidden underneath them.

"Skidco, Aisai…forever & always!"Before I could answer with my own profession of love his lips descended on mine, just like his other few kisses, this one felt awkward & unsure at first, but finally right, like we were made just to kiss each other. Yes, Ulquiorra Schiffer had died back at Hueco Mundo…the man that stood here with his lips against mine & his arms around me may look like him…but he is not. This man is much older than Ulquiorra. This man is Sasuke Schiffer, my twin's servant, my late husband, the man that has emotions, the man whom took a sword in the heart for me.

I am Sakura (Shang) Schiffer. I'm in the 10th grade. I am a Shinigami.I am 916 years old& am happily married to my ex. Arrancar husband, Sasuke (Ulquiorra) Schiffer…

-END

By: Sakura Schiffer…

:3


	2. Shiro Haruno & Hichigo Shirosaki

**Sakura: *jumps up & down clapping hands***

**Narunosuke: um…what yadoin', Saku-Blossom?**

**Sakura: *smiles evilly* I'm making a fanfic for Shiro-Chan…she saw Ichigo-Kunfully released while fighting Ulqui-Danno & texted me at like 1 in the morning screaming she wanted to have Hichigo'shollow babies…*Stops jumping & clapping & yawns***

**Narunosuke: Um…ya okaySakura-Chan?**

**Sakura: i haven't slept for more than 2 hours in the last month…i think i have insomnia…**

**Shiro: HHHHIIICCCHHHIIIGGGOOO!**

**Narunosuke: SHUT UP!**

**Sakura: *Passes out snoring* skittles…**

"Oi, are we going to do this or not? Orihime's waiting for me at home, come on!" Ichigo Kurosaki was shacking violently as he lay strapped against a metal table, wires basically straggling him.

"Hold on Ichi-Berry, it takes a moment for the machine to wake up, besides…I'm sure your wife can stand a few hours away from you." A small Shinigami was running around the gigantic laboratory, her violent blue hair flying behind her wildly. "You know, Schiffer-Hime, with your long hair down, it's a hazard with all the burners on, I'm sure you would like to keep your pretty, violent locks, right." The maniac pink haired scientist's teasing tone annoyed the pale girl most of the time, but right now she really didn't mind.

"I don't care right now Szayel-Kun, let's just hurry up & finish so Ichi-Berry can stop having mini heart attacks. Besides, Shiro-Chan doesn't like to be kept waiting, & from what I've heard, Shirosaki-San is just banging his head against walls from all the anticipation."

It had been known for the past couple of years that one of the Shinigami's close friends, Shiro Haruno, had been sneaking into Ichigo's inner world just to be alone with his inner hollow, Hichigo Shirosaki. Finally, Ichigo had gotten fed up with their love fest in his head & kick Shiro out, until Sakura had come up with a plan. Since Szayel Granz is way ahead in his experiments than Kisuke Urahara, she had requested for the eighth Espada to find a way for Ichigo & his hollow to separate.

"Okay, Sakura-Chan that's it, no more! Get out right now!" The pink haired man's voice became shrill when the bluette knocked over another test tube. "Oops…I'm sorry Szayel-Kun… I'll have an Arrancar find Yylfordt-Kun for you…Good luck Ichi-Berry." With a quick bow, the busty girl quickly left the beeping room, her friend becoming hysteric after her descent. "Sakura-Chan, don't you dare leave me alone with this damn nut-job! Sakura, get back here…SAKURA!"

"Is that damn lunatic experimentin' again?" The pale girl quickly turned her head to a deep familiar voice, her black painted lips stretching into a smile at her supposed "jailor".

"Yeah, Grimm-Kitty…we're trying to separate Ichigo from inner hollow for Shiro-Chan."

"Da chick with da kinky pink in her hair 'n' da big boobs; always callin'ya her 'wife'?"

A slap echoed through the hallways as the smaller girl slapped the taller Espada, the shackle on her right wrist clanking as she walked away, Grimmjow holding his cheek with his left shackled hand.

"Yeah, Grimmjow-Baka, she's the one."

It had been almost 24 hours since Sakura had last seen her orange headed friend, his screams could be heard from the other side of the castle, but Szayel had assured the pale princess that the process was almost over. Grimmjow had come & gone, taking short cat-naps out of pure boredom. Gin Ichimaru had passed by a few times with a few inappropriate suggestions, only to be ceroed by her husband, Ulquiorra Schiffer. Even Starrk coyote had visited to keep her company, even though he was asleep every time.

"Oh, Saku-Blossom~"

"Go die spoon!"

"Aw, someone's grumpy~…what'sda matter Sakura-Chan?" A tall lanky male stood in the gigantic doorway, his spoon-like form almost hitting the ceiling.

"Nnoitra, I said go crawl into a hole somewhere & die!" Before the lanky male could come back a giant blackish red light came flying right in front of him, just nipping the front of his white uniform.

"Dat, was just a warnin' shot, spoon, now get da fuck outta here!" A metallic like voice flooded Sakura's ears, it sounded familiar yet unknown all at the same time.

"Who's gonna make-" The tall man stopped dead mid-sentence when he looked into the corridor, his beady eyes landing on golden. Without warning Nnoitra found himself on his knees, loss of breath as he grabbed at his throat, the spiritual pressure in the air spiking higher & higher.

"Al-al-alright! I'm goin'!" Quickly the fifth Espada Sonido away, causing the Spiritual Pressure to lighten again.

"Oi, Sakura, ya in dar'?"The pale princess bolted upright in the white canopy bed, her eyes growing as large as dinner plates when she caught sight of the familiar figure in the door way. "Ichi-Berry? Is Szayel-Kun done already? Did the experiment work?" The metallic laugh that shook the figure's body caused the bluette to cringe, the all too familiar voice revealing who the familiar stranger was. "Hichigo…where is Ichigo-Kun at?"

Stepping into the room, the male hollow revealed himself to look exactly like the missing orange haired Shinigami, but a negative version to the eye. His skin was paper white, like Ulquiorra's, along with his hair, but his eyes were pitch black, except for his golden iris. His uniform was the same design as Ichigo's, but Hichigo's was white like an Arrancar's, followed by a black bandaged Getsuga strapped to his back.

"Aw, doll face, King was thrown in ter' a Garganta…he kept mumblin' somethin' bought his Orihime watin' fer him, so I just threw him through."

"Well, that's not nice, Baka…after all he's done for you, you just go & start throwing him around…some alternate self you are."

"Hee-hee…I don't give a rat's flyin' ass if he gets hurt, I'm a fuckin' hollow after all."

The sapphire eyed girl flash-stepped in front of the alternate Ichigo, her arms crossed stubbornly over her busty frame. "So, I'm a flipping Shinigami, yet I've got an Espada for a husband, a Fracción for a best friend, & I share a freaking bedroom with a freaking Espada who's the freaking aspect of destruction, but you don't see us throwing each other through anonymous objects, do you?"

Before the negative hollow could counter a sudden spike in spiritual pressure caught their attention, causing the hollow to smirk at the princess. "I'm not done with you, & remember, Shiro-Chan is still Shinigami, just a hollow implanted in her."

"Hichigo-Kun?" Sakura & the negative Ichigo slowly turned towards the soft voice of their friend, Shiro Haruno, her magenta eyes peeking out from under her kinky pink bangs.

"Oi, Shiro-Chan, get yer' cute ass over here 'n' hug me!" Quickly Shiro dropped the bags she had been holding & quickly flash-stepped into the pale hollow's waiting arms, squealing the whole time. Rolling her sapphire eyes, the pale princess lightly patted her visor friend's shoulder as she passed the crazy couple, quietly slipping into the large corridor, leaving the two to whatever crazy shenanigans they choose to do.

"Oi, King, I'm home~" The pale hollow dropped his current lover, ShiroHaruno's, bag onto Ichigo Kurosaki's living room floor, Shiro barging in right behind him, soon followed by Sakura & Ulquiorra Schiffer, followed by a sulking Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez& his perky Fracción Callidora behind them. "Ichi-Danno, is that you? You sure are home early!" A silver eyed Orange headed girl came from the kitchen, a blue mixing boweljuggling in her thin arms. "Oh, Shiro-Chan, Sakura-Chan-" The busty orange head cut herself off when she fully took in the four hollows standing with the Shinigami, all but one familiar to her. "U-Ulquiorra…G-Grimmjow…Ichigo?"

"Hee-hee, Sorryter disappoint ya, cutie, but I ain't King. I'm tha monster that was insida' King, names Hichigo Shirosaki." A wicked smile danced on the hollow's face as he took in his alternate's wife's face, priceless. Quickly, Orihime pointed her whisk at the group as she jumped behind the black leather couch, not thinking of her fairies to protect her.

"Shiro-Chan, Sakura-Chan, how could you lead them here, they're the bad guys!"

"Ah, shuddap, woman! We ain't here ta hurt anyone! We're here ta make sure tha stupid albino don't go ballistic on anyone!" The feline Espada growled at the ex-prisoner of Hueco Mundo.

Without thinking, Callidora jumped in front of Orihime, grasping her hand tightly & shaking it with no mercy. "Hello, my name's Callidora! I'm Grimm'sFracción! What's your name miss?" Her enthusiasm must have triggered something inside of the orange head because before long she was gleaming & completely calm, showing the red head around the house.

Soon Sakura, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Shiro, & Hichigo all found themselves in 3 empty guest rooms, unpacking their things & getting situated. Shiro was soon growing board staying cooped up in the room with Hichigo (even though he was suggesting a lot of interesting things for them to occupy each other with) & finally suggested going to the park together. Quickly, the visor bounded out of their room & rushed to Sakura & Ulquiorra's to see if they wanted to join them. Without knocking the busty girl barged into the room to find the couple going at it (giggle) & quickly jumped out of the door way when a gigantic pillow was hurtled at her. "Never mind, you sex driven weirdoes…"

"I am not sex drifffhhheeennn…" Ulquiorra's lips were back on his late wife's before she could finish her sentence, only proving the Soul-Reaper's point. Slamming the door closed Shiro crossed the hall to Grimmjow's room, hoping Callidora was inside. "Hey, Grimmjow is…" Shiro's magenta orbs popped out from under her bangs at the sight that was in the Sexta's room. There on the floor laid the bluette, blue necko ears & a tail strapped to him as he laid in only a pair of black skinny jeans & convers, ball of yarn being slapped around in his hands when either Orihime or Callidora threw it to him.

"Meow…I-I-I mean *cough* what da hell daya want, freak lover?!"

"Aw…so ccuuttee! Anyways…anyone want to join Hichigo & me for a walk in the park?"

"No thank you Shiro-Chan…I have to wait for Ichi-Danno to come home…"

"Hell no! I an'tgonna be near tha freakin albino any more than I havter!"

"Sorry, Shiro-San…I have to stay close to my other half, so if he doesn't go, then I cannot."

Smiling for some unknown reason Shiro smiled & waved to the weird little group in the room & left back to her room. "It's okay, just wanted to know if anyone wanted to go, bye."

**Sakura: Damn it Shiro-Chan I was hoping to make this a one-shot!**

**Shiro:*shrugs* eh**

**Sakura:*rolls eyes* i'm still asleep...**


	3. Kazuhira & Rukia

**Sakura: STORY TIME! YAY! STORY TIME!:D M'kay people all enthusiasm aside…this iz my first fanfic from a dude'z POV so please be gentle…**

**Kazuhira: Dude…you know I'm for Halibel now right?**

**Sakura: *rolls eyes* yeah I know…so is Shiro-Chan…**

**Shiro: *pulls out Hichigo pillow, strawberrys 'n' cream, & whip* I'M READY!**

**Hichigo: *runs in naked* m'kay, I'm done with my daily streak!**

**Kazuhira: *goes blind* PUT SOME DAME PANTS ON!**

**Shiro: HHHIIICCCHHHIIIGGGOOO! 333**

**A/N: DO NOT OWN BLEACH! D8**

**~ENJOY ;3**

**FOR MY BFF KAZUHIRA KOHTOMA! THIS IS FOR TU! 888DDD**

**KAZRUKI**

I wonder if she has ever noticed me. I wonder if she has ever thought of me like I have of her. I know, you're thinking it's like some stupid school boy crush, but I feel like it's something more than that! I don't have feelings for just anyone, & she's not just anyone! She is a very young, independent, strong, & very beautiful Sensei! She is Rukia Kuchiki-Sensei!

"Kaz-Kun? Earth to Kaz-Kun! Your staring at her again!"

"Hia!" Quickly, without a thought to it, I jumped out of my desk chair, causing it to topple backwards, crashing to the marble floor. "Moto-San…is everything alright?" my head turned towards her soft voice, my mind clouding again. "Y-yes, Kuchiki-Sensei…I was just caught off guard was all."

Ever so gracefully she turned back towards the board & continued to write down the equation. "Well I hope you have learned to stay more alert then."

With a bow to her back I quickly picked my chair back up & sat down, only to glare at one of my best friends, Sakura (Shang) Schiffer. Her sapphire eyes danced at my sky & her full pink lips were curled into a mischievous smile as she glanced towards her late Danno, Ulquiorra (Sasuke) Schiffer. My scowled deepened when I heard Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez & Hinata Uzumaki's sinkers come from my left side, Sôsuke Aizen & Anaria (Shang) Uchiha making kissing noises to my right, followed by Nnoritora's cackling from behind me.

"Shut the hell up, jackasses!" I tried as hard as I could to keep my voice a low whisper, but my anger was quickly winning the battle over my common sense when I heard the new girl's giggles in the back corner of the class room.

My eyes kept flashing to the clock above the door: 3:29. One more minute & I can kill all 6 of these damned punks!

"Alright class, I hope you all have a nice weekend, & I will see you all Monday." Just when she finished her sentence the bell finally rand, causing a monstrous snarl to escape my lips. "YOUR ALL DEAD!" a squeal escaped from Sakura's lips as I jumped over my desk, grabbing for her first. "GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE!" within seconds all six of those idiots were out the class room door, their hooting & squealing causing everyone to either stop & stare or jump out of the way in fear of being trampled, from down the hall I heard Anaria's fiancé, Lelouch Uchiha's, booming laughter.

Before I had made it all the way out of the door her beautiful voice called me from my enraged stampeding. "Moto-San! A word before you kill your friends, please?"

"Sure thing Kuchiki-Sensei!"

Painting my face with a giant smile, I strolled over to the desk in front of hers, not relaxing until we were alone. "I noticed that our newest officer, uh…Inaho Schiffer-San, is awfully lonely…would you mind taking her under your wing? I would really appreciate it."

"Yeah, sure. I don't see why not…but Kuchiki-Taichou…I have no idea who Inaho-San is. Or what she looks like." My heart began to race when I saw her rise out of her chair & come around her desk towards me. "Inaho-San has blazing red shoulder length hair, sky blue eyes with little gems under them, & a pink heart shipped birthmark on her right cheek. She also sits in the desk there." My eyes followed to where she pointed at the desk where the new girl that giggled at me had occupied.

"Oh, yes, I've seen her around. Sure, nothing Taichou, I'll do anything since you asked so nicely." My heart completely dropped though, when she wheeled past me towards the door, holding it open for a minute longer. "Thank you Moto-Fukutaichou…that's all I had to ask of you." With a gentle smile she waved farewell to me & briskly left the room, leaving me to watch her descent. After she had left my range of sight my phone began vibrating & screaming in Sakura's voice: "MESSAGE!"

Unlocking my phone, I found an annoying message from her, followed with 9 other messages from some soon to be dead friends of mine, all saying the same thing: Excuse me Kuchiki-Taichou, but is my school boy crush noticeable? ;p

Did I mention they are dead?

"So, have you worked up the nerve to ask her yet?"

My jaw tightened as Sakura came up & placed her elbow on my shoulder, a cocky smile painting her pale & black lips.

Such topics shouldn't be mentioned in such a place, at such a time like this, Schiffer-Fukutaichou."

Quickly, I sung my zanpaku-tô down towards her violent blue head, only to be blocked by her own.

Currently, our swords have manifested, which is a very good thing for Anaria, considering that her current fiancé/late husband had reincarnated into Sakura's zanpaku-tô, Lelouch Uchiha. Anaria has claimed she is forever indebted to Inaho for her zanpaku-tô, Shinkoriri-su, whom has similar powers as Mudamasa.

"Well, be glade that at least we are not human, or else Kuchiki-Taichou would truly be nothing more than a school boy crush."

The room became silent just when my Taichou entered the training barracks, causing Sakura to turn & wave goodbye to me over her shoulder.

"I guess it's time to go finfish healing some random strangers in squad four's barracks…Oh, & Kaz-Fukutaichou…"

My sky met her sincere sapphires, a rare sight.

"Good luck…I just know she'll fall head over heels for ya!"

"Kohtoma-Fukutaichou…a word if you wouldn't mind." I looked into her violent orbs questioningly, this was the second time today she's asked me to stay after for something.

"Yes, Taichou? If this is about Inaho-Chan, I'd like you to know she's already become close friends with Hinata-Chan & Kurosaki-San."

"No, Kohtoma-Fukutaichou, is it okay if I call you Kaz-Fukutaichou?"

With a swift nod from me she smiled & continued.

"As I was saying, _Kaz_-Fukutaichou, I was wondering if you would show me how to perform a few kido spells…it seems that Aizen-Taichou & the rest of his division are a little busy at the moment & you are one of the best kido spell casters I know." Her cheeks were beet red & her violets wouldn't meet mine for a long period. She was so cute!

"Uh…yeah, sure Kuchiki-"

"You can call me Rukia!"

"Rukia…Rukia-Taichou…I'd be happy to…do you want me to show you right now?" I wouldn't have been surprised if she could hear my marathon of a heart. I know this wasn't really considered a date, but it sure felt like she was asking me on one!

"No, no, Fukutaichou, I have paperwork that needs to be finished…what about tomorrow evening? Is that okay?"

"Hia! That is perfect!"

Kaz-Kun said what now?!"

Hinata's blonde head pooped into the men's third floor bedroom, just as I finished telling the guys & Sakura about my "date" tomorrow.

Anaria, TenTen (Hinata's zanpaku-tô), Kimori (Anaria's zanpaku-tô), Inaho, & Shinkoriri-su (Inaho's zanpaku-tô) all trailed in behind her. It seems my Danna has a "date" with his Taichou tomorrow evening"

My zanpaku-tô, Kakashi's gruff voice called over to the new group that entered the room from the pile of beanbags in the corner of the room.

Shinkoriri-su, Lelouch, & Sakura broke out into hooting & cheering, causing me to turn beet red & hurl a couple of pillows at the rambunctious trio.

"Shut up bakas! It was only a matter of time, really!"

"She just wants ya fer ya body." Grimmjow's obnoxious voice called to me from the opposite side of the room; him & TenTen beginning a game of strip poker, soon to be joined by Sakura & Ulquiorra.

"More like she wants him for his tats~"

Inaho's giggles echoed through the room after the new voice faded.

"FAIL!" Sakura called after the masculine voice.

"Shut the hell up, Blondie-Baka! Nobody asked for your opinion in this!"

Suddenly two figures flashed flash-stepped into the large apartment room. The first was a tall, tan slender male with short cropped blonde hair covered by an army helmet & brown eyes. The second was a dark skinned female, about a few inches taller than Sakura, with shoulder length black hair dyed with kinky pink streaks & bangs that hide her purple eyes.

"Shiro-Chan! Blondie-Kun! You two wanna play?"

"What ya playin, Saku-Blossom?"

Shiro strolled over & sat next to Sakura on Grimmjow's blue bed sheets, placing her arm around the violent bluette's shoulders.

That's something I love about my girlfriends; they're all so close! None of them feel weird when someone is in their personal space bubble.

"Strip poker…sorry but this one isn't gonna be in an elevator."

Shiro smiled & reached for some lone cards. "Either way I'll play…as long as there is a barrel waiting for me in the end~"

"Thank you for coming on your day off, Fukutaichou." Rukia's soft voice floated to my ears, sending a shiver down my spine.

"It's no problem Rukia-Taichou…anything for you."

Her smile touched both of her eyes; a true smile.

"So…what kido do you want to start off with? Number one: Sai? Number eighty-one: Dankoi? Oh, what about number ninety: Kurohisugi? You know, only Aizen-Kun & I have perfected that Kido? Not even Captain General Yamoto can cast it correctly! Kami, ha, listen to me ramble on…um, which would you like to start off with, Rukia-Taichou?"

"Um…I'm afraid I have called you here under false request…truly, the reason I have requested your presents here is for selfish reasons, Kaz-Fukutaichou…" Her violent orb would not meet my eyes as she continued to have a staring contest with my sandals, her cheeks burning crimson.

"What do you mean Taichou? I don't quite understand…"

Her eyes flashed towards mine before continuing the contest with my feet, then back up again. "I asked for your audience here because I have been hearing…rumors…& I was curious to know if they were true." My heart picked up again; my breath catching in my throat. Did she know?! Did Sakura, or Grimmjow, or Aizen, or any of the others of our marsh pit tell her?! This time they _will_ die!

"Um…I was just wondering…um…" This was so unlike my very confident, very self-assured Taichou. Taking a deep, reassuring breathe, she started again.

"I had happen to overhear Schiffer-Fukutaichou & Sôsuke-Taichou the other day in the school halls of you having an infatuation with one of your Senseis…"

My fist began a rhythmic open & closing, my heart never slowing down its sprint.

"They didn't tell me on purpose if that's what you're thinking! I just happened to of stumbled upon them!" I guess they get to live for another day.

"At first I didn't know what to think; my Fukutaichou having a possible crush on a mortal? Not a good idea, but not my choice to make. But it all turned around when I overheard Kakashi-San gossiping with Lelouch-San, with him suddenly burst out about your infatuation being your Taichou."

Yeah, Kakashi & Lelouch are dead, way to make it so obvious guys!

My face began to heat up, causing me to have a bad case of cotton mouth.

"& that's when it finally hit me…"

My heart would have broken through my ribcage right then & there if Rukia hadn't of placed her small hand against my chest right then!

"All the signs were there. You would always be first to my class, you would happily bring me my favorite tea without me asking, you were always willing to carry the heaviest of loads for me, your even willing to stay after school or training for hours on end without a second thought to it! The rumors are true, aren't they Kazuhira…you do have feelings for me, don't you?

**_HELL YEAH!_**

**_DUH!_**

**_TOTALLY!_**

**_KISS ME NOW, FOOL!_**

Inside, all of those lines were trying to fight their way out of my mouth, but I couldn't find a way to vocalize any of these, instead a simple nod was all I could manage. My eyes grew wider when I felt her draw closer. Even though she was older than me she kinda looked like a child by how she stood barely to my shoulders, forcing her to look up at me with big purple eyes; chibi moment.

"Kazuhira…do you really like me?"

Her voice was like a butterfly; you knew it was there, but it faintly touches you. My heart stopped. I couldn't breathe! She was just so damn beautiful it hurt! & she was right here with me!

Placing my hands on her shoulders, I gently leaned down towards her. This time it was her who became beet red, her who was breathing so fast. Just when I was about to finally kiss her I paused, my lips just hovering above hers.

"Do you trust me, Rukia-Chan…?"

Her eyes reopened to stare into mine again.

"Uh, huh…"

Without another second to waist I finally kissed her!

-END 3

**Sakura: Ello! Hey people sorry I haven't updated lately I just haven't been able to concentrate on my stories cuz of the new project I'm doin in theater! I'm gonna be a zombie! 88DD well my teacher said as soon as we're done with the project we're gonna make a harlim shake outta it! Exspect that soon!**

**Aizen: you okay Saku-Blossom…? *REAL concern***

**Sakura: Yeah…*sniff* why you ask?**

**Aizen: don't lie to be Sakura! I know when some things wrong with you!**

**Sakura: FINE! FINE! …*sniff…sniff* me & Shinkoate-Kun kinda…broke up…*sigh*…but we're still friends! I'm always friends with my exs.!**

**Shinkoate: *Throws arms around Sakura's shoulders* yep!**

**Koukitsuki: it's still like he has two girlfriends though! *Throws arm around Sakura & Shinkoate***

**~Sakura Schiffer**

**Quote: "Dude, you're a great friend, but if we get chased by zombies…I'm tripping you!"**


End file.
